Ninth Keychain-[Voice Post]

[perplexme]

[sounds more curious than anything] So...what's the big deal about Christmas anyway? Yes, I know how it works and all, but why?

...there are a lot of new feathers, aren't there?

Comments

[perplexme]

I was told that I don't. I beg to differ. But whether I do or not it doesn't matter, I wouldn't recognize love if it bit me on the ass.

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

Well, do you care about anyone? Friends or family?

[perplexme]

I don't have family...Sora doesn't exactly count and neither does Aros. That'd be kind of narcisstic wouldn't it, being in love with parts of yourself? And the friends I had don't remember me, they're gone, or they're dead.

I guess what I'm really trying to ask is what it really is.

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

[The mention of Aros got her attention.]

Wait. You know Aros?

[perplexme]

...[hear that? He's almost laughing at you] Knowing is only half of it.

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

[She's willing to try understanding if he gives her a chance.]

Mind explaining?

[perplexme]

Hmm...guess you could say I've got kind of a split personality, though I don't think Aros really likes the idea.

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure Aros showed me some kind of diagram once trying to explain it. It was...a bit confusing to follow.

[perplexme]

Let's see...you've got Sora. Aros and I come from seperate parts of Sora's heart. Then you have one of Sora's closest...best friends, Kairi. Kairi lost her heart and Naminé was born. Aros was pulled back into Sora's heart, I was picked up by somebody else and existed on my own until I left to find Sora myself, in which I rejoined Sora.

Less confusing?

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

Actually, yes. Much less confusing. That diagram makes sense now.

[perplexme]

And then furthermore, technically, Nami is part of Sora and Kairi. Kairi's heart was being carried inside Sora's. To release Kairi's heart, Sora had to release his own, become a heartless. Once Kairi's heart was released Nami was born and of course so were me and Aros and...well, I already told you everything else.

Aros isn't very good at explaining things he doesn't really want to explain. He doesn't like talking about the fact that we're all part of Sora.

I...usually don't like it either because I'm not Sora. And I'm not Aros. I'm Roxas. But you seemed like someone worthy enough of knowing. Smart enough to get it. Get it?

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I get it. But what does it matter that you're all part of...Sora, whoever he is. The point is that you guys are each your own person, right?

[perplexme]

The point is, we're part of Sora, but we're not Sora. It's all a matter of being incomplete. Heartless exist to eat hearts. Nobodies exist without true emotions. This is what we were taught and what we've lived with.

Though...in the time here, I'm pretty sure both of us have defied those terms. Aros has found a new place with Flonne, whoever she is. And I'm still looking for answers, as always. So then we come back full-circle to the questions I've been asking people here.

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to understand this as best I can. Though I guess I understand it and don't at the same time.

Answers?

[perplexme]

It's fine, I don't really understand it completely myself either.

Answers. Answers about feelings and people and this place mostly. Usually people don't have good ones.

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

Maybe they don't have good answers for that because it's difficult to explain. I think those are things...that you just have to try and experience.

[perplexme]

But if I can't, then I guess I'm stuck huh? [murmuring to himself really] Man, maybe if Axel were here..

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

I know you said you didn't technically have feelings, but that doesn't mean you can't try and experience it. I mean, who knows, you might surprise yourself.

Axel?

[perplexme]

Might. Who's to say I'd recognize it though, that's the thing. How does a person know what they're feeling?

...but, I guess you're right, though I have tried before. [here, have a Roxas avoiding the last question]

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

Well, you said you had friends, right? Even if they don't remember you, you still remember them.

Even though they've forgotten you, do you still think of them as your friends?

[She's hoping to get somewhere with this.]

[perplexme]

The thing is, I don't think I can because in their world, I've never existed. To make a very long story short, I was placed in a digital form of a world that three of my friends existed in. In that world, we were best friends. But, as of now they know something's missing a bit but they don't know what.

Naminé and Axel just disappeared one day, on seperate days from this place. They were here and the next time I opened my eyes they weren't. Those two are still friends, of course.

I'm sure this is really boring you though. [he's just slightly uncomfortable talking about all of this with someone who's practically a stranger, but he figures it won't cause anymore damage]

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

No, it's not boring me at all actually. Believe it or not, I'm very interested. Though, I'm sorry if this is getting too personal for you.

[perplexme]

I've had enough experience with people crossing boundaries and getting too far into my personal space, it's not as big of a deal anymore.

So...what else would you like to know then?

[outofplaceklutz.livejournal.com]

[Yes, and she's good at crossing boundaries, but she's starting to think she should back off for now.]

Doesn't it...bother you?

[perplexme]

Which part, not having emotions, losing my friends, or knowing I was never supposed to exist? [keep going Bella, you've gotten more out of him that most people]